On a beautiful Saturday morning, I drove to my hangar and pulled out my old Cessna. I had to clean her up from the last adventure before a young lady I had met the day before arrived. I had asked her out to lunch, via my airplane. I didn't want her to think I was a complete pig. I cleaned the windows and vacuumed my Cessna out. Ready to go!
Not long after, she arrived, but not alone. She had her small dog, Buffy the Shih Tzu, tagging along.
"Oh" I said. "You brought your dog".
"Oops, I'm sorry, Is that OK?" she asked.
"I dunno. I've never flown with a dog before. I guess it will be OK." I said, not really wanting to have a dog in my airplane.
So after the pre-flight, we boarded my bird and taxied out to the run-up area. The dog seemed to be pretty calm, it just sat quietly in her lap. I did my run-up, all the time keeping one eye on the dog. Still, all seemed to be well.
Time for take-off. I pulled the airplane out on the run-way, while announcing my departure. I pushed in the throttle and started down the runway. Meanwhile the dog was starting to get agitated, but I didn't notice, since I was concentrating on my take-off.
The next thing I know, the dog had leaped from her lap and started running around the interior of the airplane, just like Roger Rabbit in the movie. Around and around it went, yipping all the way. Since I was already airborne, I really couldn't do anything about it. Not only was the dog going wild, but it was pooping and peeing at the same time.
I knew I had to get the plane on the ground as soon as possible. I was worried that that damn dog was going to do something stupid like lodging herself under the rudder peddles.
I made the pattern and landed safely. We got out of the airplane and put the dog on a leash, tied to one of the struts. Both of us were covered with pee and poop, not to mention the interior of my airplane!
She was mortified and apologized profusely. I said "Don't worry, it's OK".
We pulled the airplane into the hangar and she gracious helped my clean it up. After everything was back to normal I turned to her and said:
"I do have one suggestion though."
"What's that?" She asked.
"I think you should change the dogs name to Sue". I answered.
"Why Sue?" She asked.
"Well, then we can refer to her as Shit-Sue!"
We both laughed and went out to lunch, in a CAR.
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